Kellie is a girl who broke my heart. She picked it up to heights I never knew existed, and she dropped it. She didnt do it on purpose. She was just learning to walk, and suddenly she tripped. She fell hard, and hurt herself pretty bad in the process, but she also broke my heart, which she had for safe keeping. That's why you should only hand your heart to people who are steady on their feet. Luckily, I was able to pick up most of the pieces and rebuild my emotions, even though it took a while to figure out how it all worked, and where it all went. To put it all back in its place. Unfortunately, I found most pieces, and not all. Some were broken beyond repair, and others were lost completely. That is why I still have holes in my heart, and I find it impossible to hold as much emotion as I used to. There are holes in my heart where the blood flows through, but only if I let it. It is something I learned to control in order to survive. So what do you do when someone you love breaks something as precious as your heart? You tell them its okay. It wasn't their fault after all. It was my fault for entrusting my heart to a person who stumbled. Sure, she never fell while I was around, but only because I always held her firmly by the hand. And then, I loosened my grip, and down she went. So although I forgave her, I could not entrust such a treasure to someone I could not trust. Maybe, just maybe, she would regain my trust one day. Maybe, but probably not. And, although I forgave her, I resented her. How could she have dropped something that was so precious? How could she let it slip so easily, when she knew what it meant to me. What it was to me. So instead of forgive and forget, I only forgave. Instead of moving on, I hardened and stood still. I was cold and uncaring, like a marble statue in the rain. I isolated myself in my own world, and shielded myself within a storm of emotions. I was the eye of the tornado. The calm in the center of the chaos. Peaceful and passive, but unapproachable. It was then that I noticed her pain as she continuously tried reaching through the searing winds. I reveled in it. I wanted a clear message to be sent across: "You are not welcome here." She fought and fought, but I resisted. And the harder she tried, the harder I tried to forget who she was. She fought her hardest, and I blew a gale that was stronger than ever before. Eventually, she tired and gave in. She was swept away, and she went along with it. As unwilling as she was, she went along, because father nature knows best. But father nature was careless, and in pushing her away, he shoved too hard. She flew away much farthere than he ever meant for her to go. I distanced her more than I ever wanted or meant to. And now, with so much distance between us, it is difficult to communicate. We hardly ever talk, much less see each other. Remarkable how easily and violently our bonds were ripped apart by such a cataclysm. Like a nuclear explosion that rips apart the atom. But the explosion is now gone. The debris has settled, and the radiation has subsided. I think it is safe to say that the worst is over, and perhaps the land is now rehabitable. Perhaps it is time to move closer. Not close enough to hold my heart, but to hold a conversation as what we were long ago. Two creatures of the woodland. The river and the earth. The mountains and the sky. Interacting together on a regular basis. To be friends, again. Like we were in the days of chemistry at Pali. To annoy you now, as I did then. I hate losing good friends, and you were, and are, amongst the best. And so, I take the first step towards the renewal of a withering oak. I hope you'll meet me halfway there.
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