'Tis the Season

Contrary to what last week’s post may have led you to believe, I am enjoying my time here in China. It is different, and there are things that I have not adapted to yet, but there is still much time for me to learn. Although it is sometimes difficult to adjust to the… lonesome factor, I constantly find myself talking to people. I don’t think that the problem is the lack of people to talk to (at least for me), but the lack of a stable group of people to talk to. People I can relate to. I am constantly making fleeting connections on a daily basis, but very few of the people to whom I give my contact info to will ever actually bother to get in touch with me. It’s not that bad, though, as I do have a few fairly stable friends; I just wish they didn’t live so damn far.

This, I just realized, is my first post of the year. I suppose that this post should set the tone for the rest of the posts this year, but it wont. The coming posts may or may not be of this nature, but who knows. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing these posts in a fashion more befitting of a publication, but that would take away my ability to say what I want, when I want. The more I think about it, the less appealing it sounds, as I am sure that it would lead to a faster death for this blog.

Lets get into a couple resolutions. I suppose one of my new year’s resolutions is to continue this blog in its current format, although I hope to do a slight redesign soon. I hope to have 52 posts for you this coming year (one for each week, for the mathematically challenged). In addition to that, I hope to do something big with my photography. I wont mention specifics right now, but I am currently working on a couple big projects that should come to fruition this year. There are a few more resolutions that I can think of off the top of my head, but we aren’t that close, and even then, what’s a girl without her secrets?

And now, I’ll leave you with a few late comers to the Christmas game, and a few photos from a bar last weekend. I hope you all have a wonderful new years. May you find pleasure in all things you do.

Christmas...

I write this at 12:53 am. It's Christmas. There is no Santa. There is no snow. There are no loved ones. There is no holiday cheer. So tell, is it really Christmas? No. Its just another day. I have come to the conclusion that Christmas is not December 25th. December 25th is just a day. Christmas is friends and family. Christmas is the spirit of goodwill. Christmas is… well, not readily available in China right now.

I wont lie, it has not been the best of weeks for me.

I originally intended this blog post to be about the 4 goats I saw killed on the street here. I intended to discuss the how deadened I was to sight of it. How little it bothered me to see these 4 animals stabbed in the back of the head, only to be laid upon the ground and have their throats slit. The crimson blood draining from their bodies into an awaiting basin. That’s what I intended to write about, but after a week’s worth of other events, I’ve started wondering how deadened I am in general. I just feel… indifferent.

It has been a fairly stress filled week, with little or no time to vent. I’ve been giving my students their finals, which gives me almost no time to do anything else. I have now realized I have too many students (appx. 900), which translates to too many papers to grade.

Additionally, I got some depressing news from a good friend. At first, it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it should have. It was unexpected, but at the same time a known possibility. Like a line drive with a bad bounce: you think something is going somewhere, but it suddenly changes directions. You knew it was possible, but unexpected. For some reason, though, I didn’t really react. I just watched it race right by. Days later, events piled up: loneliness sank in slightly, the weather got colder, and eventually, I must admit, I started feeling a little down, in general. It wasn’t like I was suddenly depressed or anything, but I just slowly started getting into a deeper and deeper slump. And right now, while I am sitting alone in my apartment on Christmas day knowing that in 6 hours I have to be up and teaching and giving tests… well, it makes me feel like I am sitting in a spotlight in a dark theater. I know there are other people out there, but I can’t help but feel alone.

At this point, I feel I should mention that you shouldn’t worry about me. I’m fine, and I’ll always be fine, but my blog exists for me, and I feel like writing all this.

Regardless, I know why you are really here. You want your photo. And that’s okay by me. I like giving it to you. The lead reminds me of better days, and the first few weeklies are part of that.

And Now Presenting...!

I have decided to try something new. For those of you who cant seem to get your Dan photo fix, I have decided to implement a new feature to my website: a weekly gallery! Yay! This gallery is meant to be a flavor of the week, type thing. Usually, the gallery will be of current work, but not always. Yes, it means more work for me sometimes, but it also lets me show you more images than I normally could without cluttering my blog.

From now on, the main Image will link to the gallery. Note that the main image will not always be representative of the gallery.

Keep in mind that there will be a new gallery replacing the old one every week, so no more of this checking once a month business! You snooze, you lose! In case you are not sure, the blog gets updated every Thursday. Sometimes my Thursday, and sometimes yours. Depends on my schedule, but Thursday nonetheless.

If you would like to get to the gallery without having to scroll through my (admittedly) sometimes annoying posts, feel free to cruise to it directly at http://www.dansandoval.com/weekly.

Lastly, if you like the idea, or like the images, please let me know via the comments. Even though I do this for me, its nice to know that someone, besides me, looks at it every now and again.



P.S. Lets see how long I manage to keep this gallery thing going…

It's in My Bones

I can feel it. Whenever I leave my house, it is there. Whenever I stray too far from the comforts of my desk and bed, it is there. It’s a sinking cold that seems to just crawl into the deepest warmth you have. Chengdu is nestled in mountains, and though I may have mentioned it before, one of the things it is known for is its lack of sunlight. Chengdu tends to have overcast skies throughout winter, as is the city that gets the least amount of sunlight per year. Its not that the sun is not there, but it is obstructed by the giant diffuser in the form of overcast skies. To give you an idea of how little direct light makes it to the surface here: I’ve come to notice that my students consider it sunny if they cast any type of shadow.

Being from Los Angeles, at first it was a little depressing. For the most part, though, I’ve learned to deal with it. The only thing that I have trouble getting past, though, is the lack of warmth that comes from the sun. Like I previously stated, its USUALLY not cold enough for me to feel like I’m going to freeze to death in an instance, but its more of a slow cold. It’s the type of cold that sneaks up on you, and the next thing you know, you are getting sleepy and tired as your system shuts down into a sleep you will never awaken from. Okay, so I’m being melodramatic, but it really is a cold that you don’t exactly notice at first.

Most of the time, when I go somewhere that I consider cold, I walk around for a bit, and not too much later, I’m used to the temperature difference. Here, it is the opposite: I walk outside and think to myself ‘Oh, its not too cold today. I can go out without the heavy jacket!’ But as I walk around, it slowly sinks into me. I don’t notice it for a while, usually, but then, I suddenly will realize how cold I feel. And by then, its not the kind of cold that throwing on an extra layer can get rid of. No, its the cold that can only be taken away by sitting in front of a heater for a nice long while, or taking a long hot shower, or even just curling up under some blankets and watching T.V. for a bit.

Anyway, keep that in mind when traveling to China in the winter. Oh, and here is some advice that applies to both Photoshop and cold: Layers are your best friends.

Disclaimer: No layers were involved in the making of this image.

Rat Tat Tat

One of the things people tend to overlook in China, is the huge subcultures that exist here. When we think China, we, of the western mind, are led to believe that China is a largely impoverished place where people live as poor farmers. Not true at all. What we hear of even less, is large amount of people that are a lot like us.

Last weekend, I went to a… bar, for lack of better words, where a guy I know was playing drums. What he does is play drums on stage with a DJ mixing. Its like a DJ/Drum band. Pretty cool stuff, and you have to be a pretty good drummer to be able to improvise and have enough changes so it doesn’t get repetitive. I was fairly impressed. He was honestly one of the best live drummers I’ve seen, which is not something we readily think of when we think of China. We don’t think of the skateboarders here, but skate they do. We don’t think of the rock guitarists here, but man can some of these guys play. We don’t think of the cafes, but there are some people that really love their coffee. All we really focus on is the vast number of people and the fact that the government here is communist.

Truth be told, we are often led to believe by our media that China is nothing like America, and in some ways, that is true. People don’t always have the same freedoms we do, but Ill tell you what they do have: people here wont often run into people that are highly impoverished. There isn’t the giant gap between the poor and the rich that we tend to see in the states. Most people are happy here. They don’t tend to complain about the government or their lifestyle. I don’t see many people that live on the streets here. I don’t see many people begging for money. These things that are so common in America are not as common here. So perhaps we westerners criticize the Chinese for their iron grip on the people, but the truth is, that iron grip isn’t usually that noticeable, but the results of it are.