About a girl

What the fuck is going on here? Why is the world so goddamned fucked up? I hate the shit that I have to go through on a daily basis because of someone else. Ever notice that those who are closest to you are the ones who can hurt you the most without you ever seeing it coming? I mean, the best assassins in history have usually the king's brother or something of the sort. Well, I allowed this person within my innermost chambers, and I assure you, it hurts to be stabbed by someone you thought you knew. It hurts to turn around and suddenly realize that the person you knew is a stranger, and that only a person who doesnt care for you can stab you so ruthlessly. And you know what is really the worst, that in that moment, you realize that the person you knew is gone, so you just whisper the words, "I forgive you," as you fade into the darkness of the eternal slumber. But everybody makes mistakes, right? After youve been stabbed, the person realizes the horror that they committed, so with youre dying words, you comfort them, and tell them it will be okay. Tell them that they were manipulated. Tell them that its not their fault, even though they are the ones with the blood on their hands. The pain takes over your body, and you feel your life slipping through your wound. There is no coming back from the dead. Usually, when you die, youre dead. Game over. The end. Do not pass go. Do not collect your $200. You are out of quarters. Up a creek without a paddle. Shit Out of Luck. Get the idea?

So what do you do at that point? Well, you create a new life. One where you have learned from your previous mistakes. You re-establish yourself, with many of your same habits, and many new connections. In the end, you start that small part of your life over.

You know whats great? Having friends you can trust. With good friends you can count on, there usually arent too many worries. You live life to its fullest. You have a great life, and have company along the way. Think Wizard of Oz. Remember how much fun they were having going down a yellow brick road? Now imagine how much fun they have if they were doing something really fun, like playing in a band together. Ah yes, my bandmates. Well save that for another blog. After all this one was about a girl. Well, Im over that topic. I was hurt once, and Ill be damned if I let it happen again. Ive lost enough blood to last me a lifetime. Im sick of bleeding for others. What little blood I have is slowly being replicated, and next time around I intend to use it for myself. Call me selfish, but I enjoy living too much to allow the constant please for my sanity to stop me from having a good time. One day, you'll wake up and say to yourself, "Its about time I start living the life I want to live instead of the one that others have been dictating for me." Then youll know what I mean.

Tune in next time for our next chapter in CONVERSATIONS WITH DEATH